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Cannabis: Reacquainting with an old friend

From abuse to medicinal use

By Max Æ WalshPublished 3 years ago 4 min read
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Cannabis: Reacquainting with an old friend
Photo by Louis Hansel on Unsplash

I was about 14 years old when I smoked my first joint. I remember in those early days that it was so much fun, after just a few tokes anything could set me off and I would be in hysterical giggles for a long time.

I kept partying, mixing and trying other things for a few years, until when I was 17 my mental health took a rapid decline (a result of multiple factors to which substances were only a fraction of) and I was no longer indulging for fun but as a desperate attempt to feel 'good'. I abused the plant, smoking non-stop. I had a catchphrase back then - "I don't want to be sober." I used cannabis until the point that it no longer made me feel good anymore.

After a few years of losing myself in a deep dark pit, I saw the light and took the steps to heal myself. I stopped using any form of drugs and through meditation and yoga found myself back in the light, brighter than ever before.

My path led me from yoga into shamanism, where I met the plant medicines of Ayahuasca, San Pedro, Kambo etc. which was rocket fuel to my journey, achieving more in a few months than I had in a few years. I learnt how to work with these powerful plants, to connect to their energies and allow them to guide me deeper into my journey.

All this time, I had been dealing with stomach and gut health issues, gradually healing the area. I was mostly successful, except for one thing. I had a hernia under my left rib that was always there but that would stick out aggressively were I to sneeze or move in the wrong way. The only thing I could do was to push it back inside each time. I had always hoped to heal this part of me, though after much trying I resigned myself to the fact that this was just how it was now.

After years of avoiding any cannabis use, I found myself around others who wanted to share it with me in a way that I had not used it before, but the idea of 'getting high' caused me anxiety. I recognised I had to explore this reaction, and so I reintroduced cannabis to my life. I avoided smoking it, instead easing myself back in with edibles (weed firecrackers) and found I could navigate the experience healthily.

Eventually, I was sharing the experience with a friend who decided we would order food, which sounded like a good idea to me, until I realised we would have to go out and collect. I had always stayed inside with the edibles, staying comfy and safe. The idea of having to go outside started to cause me paranoia. I almost got lost in the feeling, until I caught myself and asked "Why am I paranoid?"

An image of being caught by a policeman came to mind. I was worried about being caught by the police..? But I am not scared of the police, I have dealt with them in the past without any issue...but what do the police symbolise? Authority.So it was authority that I was fearing, to have someone penalise me for my actions. To be accused of doing something wrong. Where does this come from?

It was my fathers authority. It was childhood memories of being disciplined and the fear that discipline would cause me. So I let it go. I took my authority back from him and gave it to myself. The paranoia left me and the trip to grab some food was delightfully fun. Who knew ordering takeout could be such a healthy experience!

I sat eating, contemplating the process I had just gone through when I suddenly felt a releasing inside of me. My hernia disappeared. Years of pressure gave way in a few seconds and a comfort waved through my body like I had never known. I was surrendering to the tranquility of what had happened when I remembered that this hernia was not my own. My auntie suffered with the same issue, as did my grandmother. That thought brought a feeling of a memory to me, of being struck on my pregnant belly. This memory was not my own, for I had never been pregnant and never will be if biology is to be believed. I let the feeling wash over me and an electric sensation ran from the area my hernia had been, down through my body and out through the tip of my left big toe. I have not had the hernia since.

In the systems of shamanism, our feet are our connection to our mother, to Yin. Left is Yin and right is Yang. So my left big toe was my mothers mothers lineage. The energetic damage and memory I inherited was passed down from my grandmother, or maybe her mother, or beyond. Thanks to the powerful medicinal plant cannabis, that damage has been healed and will no longer be inherited by my bloodline.

Thank you Santa Maria.

marijuana minute
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About the Creator

Max Æ Walsh

On a journey.

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