Your entitlement is showing and it isn't pretty

A man bet on the colour of my underwear

And here I am letting him walk me home

To nowhere and back again

It has been 4 years since it began

And still we lay nowhere near the end

One by one

Everything I had thought to explain

Washed away into a sea of endless grey

Hoping for colour to return once again

That night we lay so high

On strings and embers of warm yellow light

Hanging in the balance between what was and what would be

There would be nothing left for me to see

But in the moment

For an instant

Warm yellow turned to bright orange

As it swirled within glass and into your hands

You swallowed it whole

and off we went

into the dark of night

there for a moment

I felt safe and wanted

until suddenly you let go of me

and warm ember turned to daring red

one step closer and one step back

I could smell the warmth on your breath

you are not a good person

I know that now

How can it be

That each expression took on new meaning

Ignorance is only bliss

until pain erupts from the blind spots

erupting, waiting, burrowing

life felt warm, bright and varied in your presence

ever since that night of embered effervescence

each day fades to blue then grey

an endless platitude

of time wasted away

what was, what could and will never be

washed away with the swirl of a glass

and venomous green which seeped from your lips

find me here proud to be free

in swarms of colour for others to see

bright oranges, purples, reds and greens

everybody's happy to be rid of you

and me

who wished for a day where colour would return

to vivid states of fuschia and auburn

Am left branded

as better off

while grey washes over me

with tides of strength and sorrow

buried deep into each other

while you are left in technicolour