You're Not Going Home

I am so far away

Miles and moments away

Only a text or a call but

Often nothing at all can

Bring me closer to

Being in the decisions

Choreographing the moves

The visits and plans

By others for you

Want to go home and

So nearly did, then

One fall changed everything

You had confidence in

Yourself, your steps

Heading back to your chair

By your window

Waving out at us there

Driving away

From another normal visit

Nothing amiss

I share how you miss it

And wish

Your freedom hadn't been taken

By the illness that took you

Almost over the edge and

Back again

To somewhere you didn't start

Worse off

Speech close to gone

Short-term memory dropped

Aware of it all

The hardest part

Aiming for your old life and

Hitting my heart

From so far away

In space and in thought

But too close to me to leave my thoughts

Still unable to feel through the phone my hugs

Or understand where and

Why this has all come

To mean that their plans have changed for you

Cannot go home

Though your joy was well known

When you heard you could

Because they said you would

And showed you the videos

Of the work they had done

To upgrade your bathroom

You'll never see again

Now that they've rerouted

You and your care

Will be personalised for you

In an impersonal home

You'll know nothing about

With new neighbours

I hope you'll like

Because no one moves out