You Know That Feeling

the feeling when you are there but not there

here but not here

never never here

you have thoughts tearing at your inside

but

you were never really thinking

the feeling when you cry ugly

ugly like erratic breathing

ugly like ashamed of you

you run but you can not see

you hit the wall

but

you were never really running

the feeling when you love so hard

hard like your arms break off

hard like incomprehensible

you scream from the pain

you keep loving

but

you were never really loving

the feeling when you catch your breath

catch like bruised hands

catch like bloody knuckles

bloody teeth

bloody you

bloody bloody bloody

You breathe

And you keep breathing