Jimmy takes his gun into the woods. Jimmy has done this
before, and never will again.
The light is yellow. The trees are tall. Birch bark
pulls like ribbons from a pole.
I like to imagine crickets chirring. I like to imagine he
stops
to pick a flower, stroke a petal.
But these things are hard to find on cold November
mornings, and this morning is cold.
//
Jimmy takes his gun into the woods. No one is around to
hear it, and so no one knows. I will not imagine this.
My dearest wish: he smells no smoke, tastes only honey.
Leaves fall, one and two, to touch his brow.
About the Creator
Reader insights
Outstanding
Excellent work. Looking forward to reading more!
Top insights
Easy to read and follow
Well-structured & engaging content
Heartfelt and relatable
The story invoked strong personal emotions
Compelling and original writing
Creative use of language & vocab
Expert insights and opinions
Arguments were carefully researched and presented
On-point and relevant
Writing reflected the title & theme
Excellent storytelling
Original narrative & well developed characters
Eye opening
Niche topic & fresh perspectives
Masterful proofreading
Zero grammar & spelling mistakes
Comments (52)
Magnificent in its tender telling and heartbreaking in its finality. Felt it through and through.
Oh my heart. ♥️
Extraordinarily sad yet beautiful. Especially the last lines. Like a soft blessing. Or a prayer.
Beautiful, Suze... so sad x
I remember being infuriated when this won, Suze. Because it was so good and I was jealous. I've read it many times since. Sorry I never left it any love.
well done sister
Congrats on winning. Did you receive your winnings from vocal through your stripe account? My email address is [email protected]
This was a great read.......i❤U
Heartbreaking!
👍
Unbelievable. You are so talented 👏🏼
Very nice
it is a nice work keep going
WOW, CONGRATULATIONS ON THE WIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Hopelessly sad. Sublimely written. I could drown in the emotions here. Well deserved TS. Wow.
Wow. I’m speechless.💔 congratulations on your very well-deserved win.
"he smells no smoke, tastes only honey," powerful moment here! Congratulations, Suze 👏👏👏
Congrats on the Top Story 🎉👏🏼
Horribly wonderful. Congrats.
Congratulations 🎉 🏆🎯💯😉
I was so sure I'd liked/commented on this when you first posted it, so sorry! Very well deserved win. May you never stop writing!
Congratulations, well done. Please ignore that one negative comment from a useless source that doesn’t add any value to yours and everyone’s hard work.
Congratulations, a stunning poignant yet beautiful poem. ❤️
Congrats, Suze. I loved the poem. 💖
Beautiful and heart-breaking. And compelling. I didn't want to read on and yet I had to. I particularly like: Birch bark pulls like ribbons from a pole. I like to imagine crickets chirring. I like to imagine he stops to pick a flower, stroke a petal.