Yellow Gold

I am colour, made up of light and sound and dreams of the future, my life always planned out in front of me in my head, a home, a partner, children, grandchildren. I expected this to come easy, to float through life collecting these things like pebbles on the beach. I watched my friends get married around me, to move on and up in their careers first homes to larger homes, bumps and babies appearing. I don’t understand why this is not happening for me, As I am growing older, I no longer see this path, no longer wishing my life away into these confines of society, my eyes are set on my own unplanned future, a life of colour and sound and dreams, not to worry, I am not done, I am unfinished, and I have time. I see the colours now, the greens of the trees, the bright vibrant colours of the flowerstalls in the market, and the sky above a blue open world for me to explore.

I am more than the colour they see, more than the world I grew up in, more than the life they think I should be living. I am everything inside me the women before me and the women yet to come. I am the living inbodiement of the decisions they made for me. But I am changing. That life before, I lead, grey suits and crowd into the city, day in and day out, stuffy tube with face pushed up into some strangers armpit, that reach for power, that need to succeed, to not to let down my sex, I have been in the city the grey crowds and clouds. That feeling so dark and lost and lonely. The world around me colourless. I am Stepping away from that colourless life, and into adventure, see my light, I am the Sun, A bright Yellow warmth glows across my skin the glow for everyone to see. I am Me.