Why pain? Why me?

It was a damn cold night.

When a creepily hurtful sensation emerged

Speeding down my spine,

As if to haunt my already overwhelmed nerves.

*

Three months of fighting physical pain

Felt like a war with an army of ghosts.

A definitive diagnoses so challenging to nail down,

Flooding disbelief and frustration over every body part.

*

That damn cold night,

As my exhausted body yearned for a much needed sound sleep,

A never experienced symptom invaded my spine,

And captured the tiny bit of calmness sheltering in my fragile soul.

*

Tears fell.

*

Anxiety exploded.

*

Why pain? Why me?

Stupid old questions slapped my face.

For a few seconds my life wasn't worth living,

As human pride gave in to the forever unanswerable why's.

*

I abruptly sat up in the bed,

Slowing the weird pain from gaining more ground.

My fatigue body ended up sleeping sitting on the couch,

Made possible by the merciful embrace of a travel pillow.

*

Now that the horrific episodes of my medical drama have passed,

The memory of physical pain sleeps like a volcano.

I wondered what will happen when it erupts,

Unleashing the hot lava that's temporarily settling below.