Why?

Alcoholism is not what I knew

I only found out once I grew

in the background, so black and blue

we still suffered, thanks to you

As a child, she said she couldn’t do it

said she had a hard life and that I knew it

but she was the world to me and she blew it

stuck a knife in me and left me to fail through it

all I have is this empty pain

as an adult, I have nothing to gain

life is a gamble anyway

everyday is lighting a torch with a flame

lord I feel you watching by

as I sit by my window and cry

I know your going to judge me someday

I just don’t know what to say

as these demons infest my brain

why did you make me this way?

why did you make me anyway?

my children are so dear to my heart

I have loved them from the very start

one day they will know the feeling

all their lives will be full of love and meaning

even after I turn cold and stop breathing

meanwhile I will continue healing

all of these cards that I’ve been dealing

—h.b. Woods