When You Can't Tell Someone

He's always reaching out to me

Watching everything I need

Yet the thing that I can't say

He'd give it all to hear one day

...

There are scars inside my soul

Things that I must bear alone

So I watch him in his pain

He asks and asks, once more in vain

...

He tries to see into my heart

But all that rests in there is dark

All my nightmares, fears, and hurt

They're tucked in shadows, there to lurk

...

Yes, he has his bruises too

His are diff'rent, mine are new

Someday, I may find a way

But I can't tell him, not today

...

Silence, thick, dark, and heavy

Poisons me, though he can't see

He can't know the wounds I hold

That I will carry, till I'm old

...

Thank you for reading my story!! This is somewhat based on my story, I'm in Love with My Best Friend. You can check it out in the link below.

It's not entirely based on my feelings for my best friend. That, I will never, ever tell him. But I mentioned in the story that there are some things I haven't told him yet. This is what the poem is about.

I have some shadows in my past. Scars and trauma and hurt. Things that have caused me to reach out to hotlines for comfort and someone to just... hear me. When he heard about it, he was beyond hurt. Because I was hurting and didn't tell him about it.

But these things. The things that happened to me. He won't understand. He has scars, yes. But his are different from mine.

Maybe I'll post about them in the future. And then, maybe, after that, I will have the courage to tell him about what happened to me. What makes me lose sleep and writhe in my bed at night as I remember. But that is for another day. For now, I can't tell him. It hurts both of us. And I hate it so much.