When It's Over

Whirlwinds of chaos uplift

Precious, painful, passionate

Raw, so raw

Two souls unearthed, for just a moment in time

Me and him. Him and I,

Pulsating hearts intertwine

Hungry bodies, wanting, needing.

The world looked different

Kaleidescope of vivid colours,

Feelings electrified

Aliveness.

A fire burning in him, in me.

Together we radiate

Burning energy collided

Our parade, our party, our story

Belonging only to us

And just like that

It's gone

It's over.

Our party, parade and story suddenly ceased

Alone.

Just me. No him. No us

So much silence. Deafening silence

My bed empty. My walls colourless.

Feeling heavy. Heartbroken. Lost

Disorientated.

Uncertain of my place in the world

Pulsating pain

Overwhelming sadness

Grief

The world feeling so desolate

Empty. Broken

Fleeting moments

Parades of love and connection

Parties of happiness and joy

They end.

Not lasting forever

Not meant too

Me and him, him and I were not meant to be

This after party more like a wake

I'm saying goodbye, way too soon

Not ready. Not prepared

Starting over seems terrifying

Apprehensive to navigate it alone

Fear and nervous tension consuming me

Eating into every cell of my being

The world is different today

It's over. Our party is over

The parade of love, of promise, of hope

It's gone.

Now there's just me, alone in the world

But... it has always been just me

Before the chaos. Before the party of him and I

Could it be that the world has remained the same?

Beautifully unchanged

The sun is still glinting majestically through the clouds

People are still living their life.

Starting or ending their own party

Perhaps it's just me who has changed

My inner world shifting

My beliefs about the external world dampened

Like a wound it will heal

It will be messy and maybe it will weep and reopen

But it will heal

I will heal

I will be invited to more parties

I will be front and centre in my own parade

It will be a different parade

Because I will be a different person

But the world will remain the same

Natural. Flowing

Like the tide

And I will find my place

It will be stunning

Captivating

A perfect mess of imperfection

Cuts, bruises and scrapes

Getting up. Showing up

Yes I will find my place

Nurtured from within