When I Turned Seventeen
a reading into Letters I'll Never Send
when i turned seventeen
i told myself
Love didn’t exist.
that if anybody told me they loved me
they didn’t mean it
or that they didn’t understand what it meant
i told myself that Love is what we made up
to forget about how lonely we are.
that Love was a bedtime story
told to me as a child
to conceal the truth that is;
i am not worth it.
when i turned eighteen
i told myself to talk to her
to pay for her coffee and ask her to sit with me
i told myself to tell her
my favorite scene in that movie
my aspirations
where i want to be in ten years
she told me her dreams
her favorite line in that book
her deepest desires in life
i told myself that i liked talking to her
that i should see her more often
and get to know her better
i told myself to let her walk around in my mind
to let her in even though
i was afraid of what she might find.
i told myself maybe it won’t hurt as bad this time
maybe i can take it
maybe she is worth it.
when i turned nineteen
i told myself i could have been wrong in the past
that Love could exist
that someone could mean it
and i didn’t have to be alone
that i might just be worth it
i believed that and gave myself to her
so when i kissed her
i told myself i loved her.
About the Creator
Chris Davis
My mind drifts like the rivers of high Colorado and my heart lies in the arms of Mother Nature. My soul is tied to the strings of the universe and my energy flows to and from the consciousness around me.
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