When I Close My Eyes

What happens?

When I Close My Eyes

When I close my eyes,

And focus on my breath,

I don't see

What you would traditionally expect to see.

I don't see peace.

I don't see harmony.

I don't see stability.

All I see is myself.

My mind,

In my closed eyes,

Looks at myself,

And picks me apart,

Part by part,

Piece by piece,

Not allowing any peace to remain,

In the main critical form,

It creates a cynical storm

Of insults,

Of assaults,

Of tear downs,

Of swear towns.

The mind won't stop,

It'll always top

The next pop

To my hair,

My clothes,

My face,

My body,

My behaviours,

My hobbies,

My interests,

My beliefs,

My choices,

My loneliness,

My inability to speak,

My self worth,

My confidence,

My way of walking,

My way of talking,

My everything.

It always finds a way

To tear me away

Because it knows me

Better than anyone else can see

It follows me everywhere,

Keeping track of the tears,

The wears,

The imperfections,

The corrections

That have yet to be smaller

This electric collar,

On my mind

That's so entwined

Will never cease

To decease

The negativity

The activity

That happens

When I should be napping -

That seems to be the prize

When I close my eyes.

How do you escape the darkness

Which exists in your mind?

How do I escape the darkness

When I close my eyes?

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sad poetry
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Read next: I Am A Bullet.
Matthew Martin

Interpreter of life.


See all posts by Matthew Martin