What if

And I'm again sitting here

with all these people around

and I don't know

how I finally ended up in this pink gown

How long it will take

to finally know who I am

how long it will last

'cause I don't want to be here now

I'm just thinking

thinking about me

I don't want to sound narcissistic

but this gown has me sick

Do I really want to be this

to be this one

for the rest of my life?

My family is so excited

because my dream came true

but I didn't realize

that I'm not happy enough

So tell me,

what I'm supposed to do

do I really have to be here

even if I don't want to?

I have now what I've always dreamt about

but I still don't know

'cause thinking about it

do I want to be what I've become?

And I'm so scared

what if I don't achieve anything more?

what if I'm meant to be

just sitting at this show?

What if I just have to agree politely

and shut my mouth every time I have something to say

what if I don't ever be brave

and say for once everything that's on my mind

What if I don't know who I am anymore

what if I don't say what I want in this song

Tell me what I'm supposed to do

'cause I feel alone

I feel locked up

in this four walls in my mind

Does someone realize

that I'm not comfortable

here, tonight

what if I'll never be able

to raise my voice ever?

So what if this is what I'm meant to be

even if I don't feel like it

what if someday I die

without never have felt alive?