Weight of Expectations

Why do we try to live up to what other people expect from us?

Are we simply seeking validation?

Is it because we are happier if we make other people happier?

The weight of expectation presses heavy, forcing itself not only onto your bones, but into you as a person, until it is crushing your very mind and soul

It can feel physical, a quickened heart, a nervous sweat

It can feel mental, heightened anxiety, depression

It can feel spiritual, to the point where if we don't meet that expectation we may as well have never been born in the first place.

But why?

Why do we put ourselves through so much anguish for the expectations of someone who will at best be a footnote in the story of our lives?

Like that boss at that shitty first job at that shitty fast food place

Sure, you may want to do well enough to earn money for yourself, but beyond that? Why try to fulfill an expectation of someone you'll never see again after you turn 18

Even your parents, while they may be more than a footnote, they will still not be there to see the closing of the book that is your life.

They will, at best, see the first half

At some point, we will need to collectively realize that the only expectations that matter are the ones we set for ourselves

We, each individual, are the only ones who will experience the entirety of our lives down to the last minute detail

People will come and go expecting us to feel a certain way about something

But they weren't around for the darkness that nearly suffocated you when you lost your grandmother

They may tell us they want us to reach these goals at work

But they don't see that you go home to a house with no electricity because you needed to decide between that and food for the week

They may expect you to act or do something

But they never saw you sitting alone, crying, scared, because whatever your biggest fear was showed itself at the worst possible time

You could try to explain yourself and your feelings to someone for a year straight, day and night, and yet when they try to explain that they understand you, you'll realize they're still the tiniest bit off, they still don't quite get the emotions you're dealing with

Aside from yourself, no one that expects anything of you will know you perfectly

Do not let their expectations be the anchor that drags your life down, because the way life works, that anchor can either be surprisingly light, or you will try to swim to the surface as it pulls you down, you, refusing to let it go because, for some reason, it matters more than air