We Had a Deal, Now Give Me a Hug

Your smile is fake

Nice, polite, kind, transactional, a lie

Who made these rules?

The one that says you can treat people however suits you so long as you stay chipper and keep your voice pleasant.

I didn’t agree to this

I didn’t trade my autonomy and emotions to anyone

And never would I ever do so for so little in exchange

I get nothing from this relationship

Nowhere does my life resemble what I set out to accomplish

Instead I give and you take

I’m sad and you are fake

We had a deal, you say.

I made no agreement

You will attempt to be humane only if I pretend you never hurt me

Like the voice you make answering the phone after screaming

“Now give me a hug and all is well again”

I am not well

This is not right

Don’t touch me

I want a refund

Years I’ll never get back

And more years to recover

Lost time and lost self

At most I have half my life left

I will use it for real love

No longer sacrificing to the false god you worship

Which is yourself