Warped Affections

keep her close and never let her go—

that’s what you assumed love was,

a kind of constrict, a restraint, ready

to hold back and suppress all freedom.

the first few dates were just build-up

to another life where you imagined

what it might be like to own someone,

at least enough to say, “you’re mine.”

what no one could ever see was how

the cogs and wheels spun in your head.

all the things you wanted that weren’t

exactly what could be called “normal.”

but appearances were everything,

so you hid the urges and impulses

behind a veneer of smiles and glass,

all the better to fool them all with.

then you met her, the one, the only—

and while she laughed at your jokes,

she didn’t want to stay a moment longer,

or be led back to your place under starlight.

she was the first of many, you decided,

as you brought her home, gently taking

her from the backseat and believing

it was really love after all, this feeling.

but you were just lying to yourself,

as you did this to girl after girl,

until you were a menace, wanted,

when all you craved was love alone.