Waking Up

Waking up;

My thoughts are loud, my mind is near.

This body I know as mine.

This body I control.

I watch it’s movements , they don’t feel like mine.

Am I still dreaming? I’m in a haze;

Floating in an external realm

Away from who I know myself to be.

I panic; But the panic stays in my mind

I pinch myself - I feel the pain

It doesn’t hurt!

I touch my chest,

Feel the slow beats of a heart.

I’m in this body yet so far away

Where have I gone?

How do I get back?

I take a razorblade , I cut and cut

Watching the blood flow

I cut until I get myself back