Waiting

I am in awe of you.

I wait for the perfect moment in time and there is none.

Let’s go for it.

Let’s risk it all.

Let’s start over and see what we can be like.

Is it possible? Will you try with me?

Are you ready to start over? Is it too much?

Did we lose our chance? Be honest.

Break it down into every little detail.

I need to know… as you’d say.

I am beyond imagining it. I just want it.

I wanna know what that feels like . Even if it’s for a day.

But what does that say about me? Who am I?

A cheater?

I.. mean yes, slightly.

But more so a lonely person.

I long to be held, loved, listened to and adored.

It seems like I can’t get that from anyone; Not my mother, not my father , and barely from my lover.

I keep telling myself to force through these emotions and release them into the wild, but they chase me.

Im suffocating. But I want is wrong.

In a little while I’ll just embrace the sadness that comes with not getting my wants. I’ll embrace the feelings like no one sees me as important.

My husband loves me, but why are we so different? Opposites attract, but they shouldn’t, it hurts when my needs aren’t always met. But who’s needs are REALLY met all the time.

In a little while I’ll just let go.

And allow myself to fall and wherever I land, so be it.