Waiting

my biggest fear

is that i'll spend my whole life waiting

for something to happen,

something to change,

something to put the pieces together.

i know it's a long shot

but i know what i want

but God says that's not what i need

i don't wanna argue but who is he?

i won't lie, i'm terrified of death

the last breath, the last kiss

it scares me.

but i'm waiting to be reborn

for a sequel to my story

or a dream i never wake from.

what if the pieces don't fit?

what if he's right?

what if it's all for nothing?

i can't ignore the dirt

that lays beneath my skin

and the mud

flowing through my veins.

as much as it kills

it's who i am

and i know it won't go away;

it's engraved in my name.

i'll keep on waiting for the day i can be free

so i wait for the end

and the end waits for me.