Void

VOID

I lost a part of me a long time ago,

Gathered some broken bits with the space my hands could fit to fill the vacancy,

But it was never quite right,

I searched for a long time,

Tried every shape, every size,

Some I tired more than twice,

A few of those bits seemed to almost fit,

...Almost,

I clinged on to that hope until I was told it was not mine to hold,

And everytime I let go,

I seem to be losing a little more of myself.

I lost a part of me a long time ago,

It left a black hole of sorts in it's place,

All my dreams get sucked into this oblivion,

I've fought it long enough to know I can not win,

So I don't fight anymore.

I lost a part of me a long time ago,

It was only recently that I learned nothing was good enough for this void,

I taught myself how to exist without being whole,

This prominent emptiness at the center of me lasted so long I barely know it's presence,

...or absence,

Except in those spontaneous moments,

When I find darkness in places it shouldn't be found,

When I feel Pain at times I'm not supposed to,

I am reminded that I'm not quite alive,

That I'm not quite human just something that resembles it,

I'm reminded that there is an all consuming hole in my chest,

A hole Growing like a virus that can't stop,

How long can I be eaten up without thinning?

I lost a part of me a long time ago,

I doubt whether I'll ever get it back,

But I'm naive enough to keep trying.

~