Did you ever stop to think
how you made me feel that day?
Though it seems absurd, I must be heard,
There are things I need to say.
First, I thought it understood,
That two tiers was the ceiling,
To offer more, (as much as four!),
Was sure to breed bad feeling.
Also, everybody knows,
The Lord Mayor frowns on icing.
It’s over sweet and hard to eat,
It only LOOKS enticing.
On the form I made it clear,
The family friendly theme.
It isn’t proper for the topper
To make the vicar scream.
And that garish coloured sponge
Perhaps you thought attractive?
It caused some pains to Mrs James,
Her son is hyperactive.
You have lived here long enough,
To know we’re a friendly lot.
Though you came late, to the summer fete,
We saved your cake a spot.
Had we, of course, been forewarned,
We’d have placed it at the rear,
A cake that height can block from sight
The classics sitting near.
It falls to me as chairman
To send you out this letter.
This missive is imperative
To make this year go better.
No one holds a grudge my dear,
I write with the best intent.
The committee thinks that such high jinx
Doesn’t fit with this event.
So this year’s competition
Brings in a judges’ duty
To disqualify, not mollify
Entrants deemed too fruity.
I trust you’ll volunteer again
To keep the barbeque burning,
And remember please, the trophy needs
Polishing and returning.
Victoria Smythe, Chairwoman, Little Dimcot Community Committee
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