Vibrancy

I’m not sure how I feel about the rainbow.

There-

I said it

.

Sometimes when I see these colors

that they say should represent me,

I feel out of place

.

And even though I know

I’m meant to raise them up in celebration

And wrap myself in their vibrancy

Sometimes I would rather

hide

behind them

.

Maybe it’s my affinity for neutrals

greys and creams and off-shades of black-

these feel like home to me

.

But the color illuminates a stark realization

that begs to be seen

and examined

in this reflected prism of light

.

These colors are

unapologetically

vivid-

more sure

of themselves

than I am ready

to be

.

The irony is not lost on me

that I feel the compulsive need

to wish

for more muted hues

.

Toned down colors would be safer-

just like the toned down version

of me

has always been

.

So maybe my discomfort

is not in vain-

something begins to stir in me

when I start to reimagine these colors

as more than just frivolous merriment

.

These colors become a battle cry-

they push against my tendency

to shrink back

and rebel against my habit

to minimize

and pull me along

out of the comfort of what is small

.

And it’s here where I’m reminded

that some symbolism

is meant

to evoke you

and not just embrace you

.

These colors are the living embodiment

of a war against my shame-

and just as it has been

from the beginning

the rainbow remains

a sacred promise

that today-

is not the end

.

But another chance

to see beauty

in the vibrancy-

Not just of these colors-

but also of self

and of others

.