Unrequited

I keep repeating that it is fine to myself over and over, maybe hoping I'll eventually believe it? I keep telling you as well you seem to believe it well enough. But every night when I feel alone I know it is not fine and I'm not alright. I want you to love me the way I love you and maybe that's too much for me to ask of you. I put too much into everything to ask for the same to be reciprocated. I want for you to be with me and only me. I want you to adore me without me asking to be adored, I want you to be anxious for my replies the way I am for yours. I want you to need to talk to me to feel as if something is missing, something is wrong when you haven't talked to me. I want on your bad days for you to remember how my hands felt as they soften brought your face closer to mine and I want for it to relax you. I want you to be excited to tell me about your day even if nothing special happened. I want for you to feel safe telling me every silly or stupid thing you've done and for you to know that I love you even more for it. I wish I didn't have to beg. I want you to wish for me, to dream of me. To feel your chest full up with the love you have for me the way mine does for you the minute you walk in. But here I am wanting more than you bargained for, and I suppose it's my own fault seeing as I know who you are. I almost feel like a burden. And maybe someday you'll get to read this and maybe it'll make your heart hurt. Or maybe you'll brush it off and disregard my feelings as always.