Unraveling

A mind that is stuck says: Even though I am a parent, good at my job, I have friends and family that love me, I’m still just a nobody in this world.

A mind trying to understand itself says: How much longer must I endure the lack of purpose that life is to me? The labels that I am given do not create purpose for me but create me to be a purpose for others — a provider so that others may endure life with my guidance, security, and a sense of ease. And do not go on to misunderstand my views — I am happy to stay alive to be of purpose for others; I am only asking for life to be of purpose to me. I serve and I serve and I serve, to be left aching in the heart, body, and mind. My entire body is worn, my mind is worn, my soul is worn — and still I must continue on for the sake of being of purpose to others. When will life send a breath of gifts in my direction? So that my aches may be at ease as I am finally being soothed instead of being the one to do the soothing. I enjoy pouring life into others, hydrating and feeding all the hearts, minds, souls, and bodies; but as the years go by, the emptier I become. What of me when I have nothing left to give? Not only will life not be of purpose to me, but I will also no longer be of purpose to others. So then, what would be the reasoning to stay?