Unearthly

I am not often appreciative

or contemplative

of nature.

Or not as much as I should be, to say the least.

In those rare moments, however, when I do venture into the sunlight,

meaning simply to enjoy the world around me,

the smell and the sound and the warmth

is extremely vivid in my memory.

I often think of Earth as hopeless,

as dreary,

as dark and difficult and fearful.

It is a hard trap to escape.

However,

when I step into the sunlight on a particularly contemplative day,

my bare feet hugging each strand of grass,

my toes curling around them,

I see the world around me as almost

unearthly.

I escape myself,

leave my mind where it lies,

and forget that I am in this world

that is so connected to each difficulty I've faced,

so completely tethered to the politics,

the fussing,

the prejudice,

the injustice,

and remember the beauty in it too.

I am overcome with elation

I want to spread my arms out at my sides

I want to fall back into the grass to and look up at the blue, cloudless sky

I want to kick up my feet and let them fall back down to the dirt

I want to feel the grass and the swell of the hill beneath my back.

It is in these moments I am truly alive.