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Twisted Altered Lyrics presents The Owl and the Pussy-Cat BY EDWARD LEAR

Changed to The Owl and the Bureaucrat

By Ross E Fortune LombardiPublished 2 years ago Updated 2 years ago 3 min read
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ICE ICE Baby!

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Twisted Altered Lyrics presents

The Owl and the Pussy-Cat

BY EDWARD LEAR

Changed to

The Owl and the Bureaucrat

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I

The Owl and the Pussy went to sea

In a beautiful blue-orange combat boat,

They took some ammo and plenty of hatred,

Wrapped up in a five-hundred horsepower float.

The Owl looked up to the stars a bit,

And sang to a national anthem,

"Io Pussy! Io Pussy, You shit,

What a fucking wet Pussy you are,

You are,

You are!

What a fucked-Up Pussy you are!"

.

II

Pussy said to the Owl, "Please do not be fowl!

How scarcely violent you shout!

O let us be careful! For we now must be dreadful:

But what is this Jingoism really about?"

They sailed away, for an hour and a day,

Around the land where empathy no longer grows

And there in the sea as clear as can be

A terrified immigrant was starting to drown,

To drown,

To drown,

A terrified immigrant was starting to drown,

.

III

"Dear Immigrant, are you willing to drown for our cause”

“Your Cause?" Screamed the Immigrant, something shrill"

So, they took “it” away and incarcerated it the next day

By the Blue Bitch who lives on the hill.

They dined on poor, and then took a bit more,

Which they ate with a tax-exempt spoon;

And hand in hand, on the edge of the sand,

They danced by the light of the moon,

The moon,

The moon,

They danced by the light of the moon.

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IV

The Owl and the MP went to tea

In some beautiful Victorian tea house courts,

They took some sips and plenty of biscuits,

Wrapped up in five-hundred-year thoughts.

The Owl looked up to the MP a bit,

And sang to a national anthem,

"Io MP! Io Pussy, You shit,

What a fucking wet snowflake you are,

You are,

You are!

What a fucked-up snowflake you are!"

.

V

MP said to the Owl, "Please do not be fowl!

How scarcely violent you shout!

O let us be careful! We agree now to now be dreadful:

Votes are what is this Jingoism really about!"

They Campaigned away, for a year and a day,

Around the land where the love no longer flows

And there, in our hearts as clear as can be

Our terrified souls were starting to shrivel,

To shrivel,

To shrivel,

A terrified populace started to crawl and snivel,

.

VI

"Dear Patriot, are you willing to murder for our cause”

“Your Cause?" Screamed the average person, something shrill"

So, they took “it” away and forced it to obey.

By the Blue Republican Queen of the hill.

They shat on poor, and then took a dump more,

Which they wiped with holy book page’s,

And hand in hand, on the edge of the sand,

They danced by the light of their rages,

Their rages,

Their rages,

They danced by the light of their rages,

.

VII

The Owl and the governors now went to schools

Over deciding what was ok to teach, they took ages,

They took some lies and plenty of hatred,

Messages danced upon bigoted stages.

The Owl looked up to the stars a bit,

And sang to a national anthem,

"Io Teachers! Io Teachers, You shit,

What a fucking big danger you are,

You are,

You are!

What a real big danger you are!

.

VIII

The Owl can be scary and predatory

The meaning of the story is this,

That despite the fun satire, the danger is real,

Although I do take the piss.

The Owl is the dumbest bird’s opinion to ask.

When waved flags harm the innocent,

You can shove that rag! Shove that stick, Up your arse!

Stick that rag and its pole up your arse!

Your arse!

Your fat arse!

Stick that rag on a stick up your arse!

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surreal poetry
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About the Creator

Ross E Fortune Lombardi

Writer. Gamer, Goth

A (Constantly Failing To Be Funny) satirist!

[email protected]

Mutare non est meum

Cantus moriar

BLOG:

http://lombot.co.uk

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