Turning Point

As I lay here and reflect on the memories that I’ve stored inside,

I cannot help but wonder why some of those memories I hide.

Some I have buried deep down stored in a vault,

As my heart is the lock of the times I felt I was at fault.

For the pain that others has caused and I had blamed myself,

All the while, carrying the weight on my shoulders, the weight of someone else.

He was my hero once. Someone I looked up to and held in high regard,

He came for a visit, and it brought me great joy. But when he left, he left me scarred.

My mother saw my pain every time she came to take me home,

I never felt at home with him, home felt like being alone.

I knew in my heart what I can put into words now,

That when I become him one day, my children will know how.

How much I love them.

Those around him would have to put up with him, even when he would put them down,

I decided enough was enough as I decided to stand my ground.

At every highlight in my life where you want want to thank each person,

My parents being the first to mention, but all I could say was that I was her son.

In the dead silence between the noise of the weekdays,

Before the parties, after the white dress and flower bouquets.

I would hope and pray that I was good enough for him,

Being his son should be enough, but not even as my prayers sang as hymns,

Would ever be enough for the storm of his love and I sank and did not swim.

Every sport that I played growing up, I was praised by others,

And for all the compliments I was given, I gave the credit to my mother.

After graduation I moved back to what I knew was home,

Although home wasn’t one address, I knew I was never alone.

She raised me to have manners and respect and to be kind,

I have always been a momma’s boy, I cannot help that our hearts intertwine.

After the roar of the crowds die down and the banners drag across the ground,

Even if she could not make every game, I knew where she would be found.

As she held the key to the lock and would know when to open it,

Because mothers know their sons, and sons must admit.

A mother’s love will never quit.

The greatest achievement of my life,

Was moving away to start a new life.

With the woman of my dreams that became my wife,

She has woken up and made me feel alive.

And when the party’s over and the balloons has popped,

She is the one I will be dancing with even after the music has stopped.

I prayed all this years, for all the moments that he wasn’t there for,

That someone would fill that void and for someone that I would adore.

And God answered those callings when she appeared,

Filling my heart with joy and erasing my fear.

We are on the cusp of becoming them,

Our little ones will be kind and end prayers with, amen.

Because I know in my heart what I can put into words now,

That when I become him one day, my children will know how.

How much I love them.