Tsunami

I wanted to feel.

I wanted to feel it all.

I wanted to know every nook and cranny of what the world had to offer.

Somehow I had convinced myself I could take it all on.

I was ready to experience the tsunami that I had personally summoned forth.

When it hit me, I shook.

I shuddered, I shivered, I fell into its depths.

Washed Out

My pale skin bruised easily under the tides I had chosen to drown in.

Coming up for air was hardly a thought.

My brain was unable to receive sufficient enough oxygen for any rational mode of thought.

Hypoxia

It felt real.

It felt so surreal.

I had become insane - crazy and unapologetic.

Starving my body, starving my soul, starving my heart from any love, from both myself, and anyone who expressed concern.

Living for other people - through them - was the only way I would be able to walk the entire circumference of this earth.

Stories, tears, blood, years of life and death, I bathed in willingly, blindly.

I let them flood my head.

I felt the most heroic moments, were those that had nothing to do with me.

There was no point in trying to save myself from what I could no longer see.

I began to erode.

Erosion as casual as the beach shoreline.

Washed Up

On what shoreline still remained, I gasped for breath; I gasped for help - from any hand that could reach my mouth.

I would accept anything that could spare even the smallest droplets of water onto my salty tongue.

A shadow hovered over my weak body.

Too numb to cry, too dark to see, my lips parted with my last bit of energy.

The shadow's tainted ‘water,’ brought me to my knees.

On my knees, is where I began to worship the toxins I now eat.

Synthesizing

Here lies the resemblance of what once was, my human form.