Try Again Today

good days sneak up on you like a cat creeping upon a mouse,

and most times you’re surprised—"oh, there you are”—because

much of the time there are spirals that take you so far down

that you can’t even see a peek of sunlight beaming in the dark.

but you know the words can’t leave your lips in normal conversation

because being okay has its hierarchy that you can’t extrapolate,

at least not to the coworker who asks too many questions or

even to the parent or sibling who tries to understand but can’t.

sometimes people just treat you like an encyclopedia for mental health—

when, really, you’re just learning as you go along through life,

stumbling and tripping over new knowledge that affects you or

just living through the things that happen without warning.

even those dreaded words—"I’m here, you can talk to me”—fall

hollow in a sense, always delivered in such sincerity that still feels

performative instead of helpful, honest but still useless because

you can say everything you like but still not find yourself heard.

so here’s to another day of trying in spite of the danger of failure,

striving despite the burdens and the obligations and the responsibilities,

and still fighting to accept that knowing and honoring your limits is enough

no matter what the outsiders say from their limited view of who you are.