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To the First Boy I Ever Loved

A Poem

By :)Published 5 years ago 2 min read
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You were older than I,

But for once

I didn’t mind.

I liked

Growing up with you

You were like

A real brother

Did they feed you,

Those mornings I wasn’t there?

I always assumed they didn’t, and

Shoveled an extra scoop into your bowl.

We both perked up at the sound

Of the metallic

Pitter

Patter

The kibble hitting the bottom of

Your metal bowl

To this day

I love

The smell of dog food

It makes me feel

Like a letter,

Incased in white envelope

No risk of falling away

You were the first

Boy I could ever trust

Spilling my secrets to you as

We shared our mornings together

In that

Cold

Empty

Garage.

I never had to flinch around you

You couldn’t call a lawyer

No,

Wouldn’t

Did you understand back then

How much you meant?

Your eyes, so alert

Gazed into mine

After you were finished eating

Always begging for more

We both wanted more,

Didn’t we?

More love

More food

More companionship

Only You heard

How unhappy I was

But did you even understand

The words I choked on?

Unable to admit them to

Anybody else.

You didn’t know my words

But

You knew the feelings

Duke.

Funny, isn’t it?

We lived our lives

Duking it out inside of our own minds

Every

Goddamn

Day.

Every day was a fight

Just to survive.

Don’t be too needy.

Stay out of their way.

Don’t be too loud.

Just count down the days

I’m sorry

I wasn’t there to save you

Or even say farewell

All it took to tear us

Apart

Was a Small bump

In the cul-de-sac

I screamed when he told me

Wishing I could hit that woman

Like she had hit you

We still share our moments in that

Shithole garage

You sit on a wooden shelf

As forgotten in death

As you were in life

I won’t forget you.

You were the best boy.

heartbreak
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About the Creator

:)

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