To My Sister

Kiddo,

I’ve been doing a lot of thinking as of late,

And I am hoping I can clean our slate.

Through this stance I ask for a second chance,

So I beg of you to give this more than a glance.

Let me start by saying I’m sorry,

Sorry you couldn’t beat Miss Hundred Percent,

Sorry that I tore your castles down at eleven,

Sorry I let you think you should look up to me.

I’m sorry you’re trying to become me,

My shoes are too big and broken to try to wear.

I’m sorry that I was never there,

Sorry I let you think this lifestyle’s cost was free.

I’m sorry I underplayed your strife,

Sorry I told you how to be safe so you

Knew exactly what not to do.

I never should’ve taught you how to use a knife.

Because I forgot the most important part,

I never taught you why not to draw blood.

And now our mother’s tears flood.

And you’re barely supplying your heart.

Your scars are self inflicted,

But your blood is on my hands,

And my own heart demands,

I finally act upon this conviction.

I will try every day to be what you need,

Even if you don’t accept this, I will do better,

Of course I will stumble and falter,

But I will not let my misery use you to breed.

I’ll lift you into the cosmos so you can touch stars

I will give you space to burst and shine,

I’ll be your sister as much as you’ve been mine.

And I will sit on the sidelines with a proud heart.

I am starting here with an apology,

One I don’t know if you’ll ever read,

But know I’m fighting against my own greed,

And after this I’ll stop making it all about me.

Kiddo, I am so sorry,

I hope you can forgive me,

And can believe I will be there,

To show you how much I care.

Sincerely,

Katie.