To Fight Noise With Noise (Life With ADHD)

This "gift" comes at a high price...

but I suppose I ought be thankful,

for the perpetual disturbance that interrupts my every intention,

and the nonstop train of thoughts that forever diverts my attention...

certainly what I've believed to be a curse has brought to me something other than this Burning Paradise‐

and it simply must be, that this forced payment in the form of my unfulfilled desire for quietness...

has bought for me much more than this insatiable craving for silence‐

as if that is the case, my only choice is to fight noise with noise.

~

Maybe I should express my gratitude...

for the nights that rain populate what otherwise would be an empty sky,

and for the light ticks on my window that keep me sain

through these times I'd rather drown in the flood of my heart's cry...

as there is no drain sizeable enough for waters murky with such pain‐

and for the times that stormy weather reflects exactly what I might fail to describe,

maybe I should say thank you...

as there would otherwise be no bringing out from within what resides inside this noisy mind.

~

This thoughtfulness comes at the cost of my own peace,

there are countless hours of slumber that will never return to me...

and my craving for silence may stay as a dream to never make its way to reality‐

but I suppose I should be thankful for the creativity that takes the place of my sleep,

and produce the library of writings that continue to speak of my desire for quietness...

for the ceaseless hyperactivity that takes over my internal space,

and for the reliefless chatter that keeps me restless‐

yes, I suppose I rather be more grateful for noise that fills this unseen place.

~

I couldn't be more grateful...

for the soft sounds that keep me from turning over and over in my bed,

and for the little noise on the outside that keeps me from burning to death in this rangeless dread

as these sleepless nights breed a most green envy of the quiteness in this black sky,

that then bring forth a fury that grows beyond the measure of any gauge‐

and for the white noise that keeps my eyes from turning red in their rage, I couldn't be more thankful...

as there otherwise wouldn't be any calming of this hateful storm that churns in the space behind them‐

and certainly no fighting noise with noise.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Thank you for reading! Here are some other stories that capture the same emotions and struggle with my experience with ADHD. It's important that I note, it is different for everyone, what I've written doesn't fully capture all of what ADHD is. Remember, you are NOT alone!!! :)