To Be Seen

I am a wonderer by the dark stream,

forever lost in this desolate dream.

I want nothing more than to finally be seen,

accepted in all my beautiful misery.

But I'm plagued by false promises,

as all I receive are your admonishes.

I open my mouth to speak,

but my words shatter before me.

Broken, they make me bleed,

and I'm unable to be seen

beyond that of a gargled plead.

I hear your desperate cries,

as my intent is twisted into lies.

The truth of your perception,

finally shedding light on your reaction.

And so I write this letter in an attempt to shed light on mine...

I only ever wanted to be heard and understood. Not over or instead of you, but equally.

A chance to share the darkness I keep hidden away. To finally share my pain instead of brushing it away with a meniscal "everything's okay".

I know that what I ask is not intended for the faint of heart. And I gave my heart at the risk of being rejected again. But I don't regret it.

Because, you see, I like to feel my emotions as deep as they may be. I dive down to the darkest depths until it consumes me. And I let it devour me until I can finally put words to their destructive masterpiece. It's scary to the point of frightening. But afterwards I can finally breathe and put all the pieces back together again.

That's how I learned to heal myself from the torment of reality.

So when I shared my frustration at not being understood, it was not with the intent of calling you wrong or uncaring. No, it was merely an elaboration. Because I thought that would help you see. See me, in all my broken masterpiece.

I forgot, though, that broken pieces are sharp,

and not for the faint of heart.