To Be Just a Kid

I'm only six-years-old

But I know way too fucking much...

About my parent's shitty marriage

And their problems with their son.

/

Brother dated a Black girl

And Daddy Dearest threw a fit.

He's still trying to spin it

Like he wasn't being fucking racist.

/

I'd love to be just a kid

But I'm also a therapist.

An emotional punching bag...

A spoiled little shit.

I'd love to be just a kid

But I have to fix their relationship.

I just have to be better at keeping them together

But I'm just a fucking kid.

/

I'm only 14-years-old...

But I'm going through way too fucking much.

Dad bullies me daily about my weight...

And I'm beginning to lose touch.

/

My mom just lets him yell...

And does her best to ignore it.

When he starts on his shit,

I want to cry and slit my fucking wrists.

/

I'd love to be just a kid

But I'm also a disobedient shit.

An emotional punching bag...

A spoiled fat demon bitch.

I'd love to be just a kid

But God wants me slimmer than this.

I shouldn't be suicidal at 14,

Because I'm just a fucking kid.

/

I'm only 17-years-old

In a mental hospital because I've seen too fucking much.

My friend just died in a car accident

And I hate my fucking father so much.

/

I'm nearly a fucking adult

But I've been so ill-prepared for this.

My parents have been more concerned for my appearance

Than whether I should even fucking exist.

/

I just want someone to love me

Without conditions, without abuse.

I just want to feel full of something other than food

And not have my feelings refused.

/

I can't fix your fucking life

I can barely fix mine --

Kick rocks, motherfucker.

I was supposed to be just a kid

But you made me suffer

And like I had to surrender.

/

Now, I'm an adult

And I feel like a child with no direction.

I'm just a woman who hates the world

And it hates me back with elation.

/

If you have kids,

Let them actually be fucking kids.

Because they'll remember the shit you did.