Time Untold

These shoe's are taking me nowhere.

Put on this planet by the giver of life, giver of birth

Lost in a world, that's moving on

Dreaming for a future

before we are able to find our ground

unstable, shakable

progressing, moving on

supassing the wishes of humankind

In a world that's going down

leaving behind, the wonder

Born into family, awaken in brokeness

spending our lives gathering the shattered pieces

Entering the rat race

work to produce

get paid to consumed

to be enslaved

to survive

Socialize

learning the person you wished me to be

dress-up

fit in

Tired but, restless

You know it

Experienced it

Where forged by it

When I encounter you

your voice was sounding as if you where gone

Is it a dream our a nightmare

dissociating

I am just left here broken

When the rain falled down

I didn't feel the cold nor the wetness of the drops

for I was left discover

wondering who I was again

Is this my purpose..

Is this my life?

Is this how humans are meant to be

familiar places

story's mirrored, story's untold

live's more, lives lesser

a glimps, into another universe that is you

a short moment of contact

small talk, unoticed

these thoughts

these questions raging inside my head

never sorted

my mind never silent

keeping me up late through the night

After you left, things where never the same

time was not enough

it chimed before we lived

the illness that took you was like a demon

I regret the time, the moments that never where

could have spoken more

conversation deeper

understaning what's inside your heart

taking you to places, you told me to

the demon was cruel

you where already shatering

like an empty shell of what you once used to be

It's how it is

seldom we get a warning

even less we are fully prepared

As I paid the debt to time

I aged, forgetting I did not

your smile still haunts me

your voice like a distant dream

a candle light, lurking me to past memory

never pay I less

I am what remains for now

yet incomplete

questions I have many unanswered

issues to many

I am going on like that,

both me and, time keep marching

Some day's are easy

some just not

I lie down, exhausted

holding myself together barely

try not to cry again

ended up in missery

broken, left for death

what inside me is empty

I curl, making myself tiny

hoping it passes by

I wait

maybe I be shown mercy again

I count the second as they turn into days

I stopped living long ago

Some day's are do-able

I feel less

I am less

The hauntings disrub less

Illusion, control for a moment

I get up

presentable enough to appear to make it

slaving away, another day worked

for a boss that never card

for collegues that carried the label family

inside I'm withering

at home

I am a mess

alone

just there

existing

can't remembered when it mattered to me

I stopped carrying

life's a tragedy

my thoughts I have them

the demons taunting me

wishes for my surrender

at moments I do

it's all I'm capable off

forgetting is all I want, is what I need

so I shake the hands

It dulls, the promise is kept for a moment

I feel less

then I fall down again

hard, it hurts

it always does

worser then before

I deserve it, it was my own choice

my own calling of life

I grab the hand again

it taste bittersweet

the ever numbing sensation come back, a moment

and, I fall harder then before

it hurts again

but, I crave more

these short moment of salvation are my refugee

I try to resist

the demon awaits in silents

fragments of you,

on hard days it's all that's left, of who we once where

it's what keeps me existing

exsting

numbness strikes will come again soon

for the demon never rest

and, time?

lost in a sea of consumerism