Thoughts from the Ocean

So there I was standing in a pool of my own sorrow.

Thinking tearful about tomorrow.

The sprinkling water from the rusted shower head splayed in all different directions. It was slightly warm, and the bathroom mirror was already starting to steam up as the condensation streaked down the sliding glass door of the shower. My eyes were filled with a mixture of tears and water as my mind exploded with thoughts so terrible and twisted that I died somewhere inside. Then Ghost Stories filled my head as I fell to my knees, the shower gently patting my back. The water gushing out of my hair, down my face came to rest in the place where I lay down my broken hands and my broken heart.

My soul has split in two parts.

Why?

Why are you always in my head.

I can’t stop thinking of you.

Why do I still feel the way that I do.

It’s been almost two months now.

Why am I getting hopeful?

Is it because we just started texting again?

When is this going to end?

You know that won’t pan out.

She has someone else now.

It’s not magic, and I know I don’t believe in true love.

Then the water changed from warm and gentle to cold and brittle sending a sharp tingle down my spine.

Every drop a waterfall pounding my heart like frail smile in deep art.

It must’ve been midnight now, and the desire for someone to once again light my fire went rampant through my entire body.

I longed for that touch to reach me once more, and it didn't even have to be hers.

To fall into another’s arms.

For the love I felt to fill me once again.

The fear of being alone creeps in.

And I begin to wonder when.

I need someone. Anyone.

Or do I just want it?

I don’t really need it.

I’m desperate for love

When I’m going to be alone forever

Or maybe I’m just going to feel alone forever.

I don’t know. I don’t. I just don’t.

My mind grows violent, but then it goes silent as the oceans come to a close. Bringing back the tide ready to carry me home. Back to the sky. A sky full of stars. And my mind goes "oh."