This was the Year That was not the Year

This was the year that was not the year

I repaired the bathroom tap

An emptied out the kitchen drawer

Of a lifetime's worth of crap.

This was the year that was not the year

In which i launched a new career.

A West End hit eluded me,

As did Time person of the year.

This was the year that was not the year

I became a household name.

Action figures were not sold of me.

I wasn't made a dame.

This was the year that was not the year

I spent less time on my phone.

Nights of passion did not happen

In boutique hotels in Rome.

This was the year that was not the year

I didn't get that much done —

Much the same as the year before,

Much like the one to come.