this uncomfortable position of mine
a poem

I’ve always wanted to be someone
no matter who, only in terms
of my own skills
it turned out that I am nobody
*
so, I decided a long time ago
or should I say, my goal was set so
this bumpy path with no rewards
at least no prizes yet
*
because if you are a writer, you are everywhere
from the loneliest corners of this Earth
to the most crowded places
where a lot happens every night
*
as I mentioned, I did not choose it myself
it was decided by fate
not fatality as such
only so far, it’s hard
*
to raise my head above the surface
to get out of my own shell
because there are thousands of them
and only one me trying my best
*
I am sure that day will come one day
when I splash my skin
in its own successful shine
because I’ve worked for it so hard
*
each time focusing on the merits
while some did not hesitate
setting the cat among the pigeons
I hardly ever get off the track
*
every time instead of having fun
I took advantage of every opportunity
to benefit from each of my activities
reading books, watching movies, listening to music
*
every context had its own corner
for thinking and meditation
about the progress of my characters
they are just like us, only on paper
*
we have to give them life and meaning
let them love someone and something
and hate as we usually do
and the rewards will come one day I’m sure
*
if not in life, then later
remember, van Gogh only sold one painting
during his lifetime
and where is he now?
*
every person on Earth, not even interested in art
knows his name somehow
those sunflowers, irises, fields, chairs, pipes fill
all the world’s canvases
*
so, I think it’s worth it
to leave a mark wherever we can
and patiently wait for the best things to follow us
straight to our genre box
*
November 2022
***
Thank you for reading!
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