This Pain I Caused

I’ve been thinking about it all week,

On how to say it plainly.

No better way than to use the truth:

I’m so afraid of losing you.

Recently, I broke your trust.

I’m not afraid to admit I messed up.

I’m sorry for every mistake I made,

Each one that pushed you further away.

At night now, I lie awake,

Hoping you’ll FaceTime me so I can see your face.

Losing sleep, waiting for the phone to ring—

Yet, you never called, which gave me time to think.

I know you’re hurting, and of all this pain I caused,

You’re undeserving.

I hope someday you’ll forgive me.

I really am sorry.