This One Weird Trick

One Weird Tip

There’s a secret

They won’t tell you-

But I will,

If you like-

and subscribe-

and sponsor me on my page, for the

price of a cup of coffee

or a tip or

monthly subscription fee.

Because trying to find it yourself can be

Confusing,

Overwhelming

More difficult than clicking here.

But first,

Watch this ad-

If you want something more complicated,

More interesting,

More challenging

Than what you do in your spare time,

This is the game for you- and playing

Will save single, jilted mothers and

Orphans and puppies from

People who can’t merge fast enough.

When you play, the game won’t

Look anything like this, but

We get more downloads when we lie

And pay celebrity sponsors to back us

And somehow, it’s not against the law.

Now back to the thing

That they’re keeping from you-

Everyone thinks that the world is simple, and that it should be

Exactly this way (and if you don’t, we won’t mention you, because you’re not

Our demographic). But we figured out a hack to

Make it better- you’ll live longer, have less pain,

Attract love, create abundant wealth, look

Perfect

This hack was discovered in ancient times, by the

Maya and Egyptians and

Sumerians and people of

Atlantis- before they drowned,

And they all had perfect, advanced societies-

And a professor was fired from his

University for sharing this knowledge because

It will put everyone,

EVERYONE

Out of business.

The secret is-

Another ad first,

Because your phone

Has been hacked and

There are 93 million

Viruses inside, if you just

Click here and pay

59 dollars, we can

Eliminate the threat through our

Downloaded malware- just give us

Permission to track your

Websites and voice and phone calls and

Text and camera and video

Anytime, and we’ll take care of

The rest.

Not interested? There’s an X you can

Click, but it’s medium gray on a

Field of charcoal and not quite in the

Corner- and if you miss it, you’ll go

To our purchase page anyway.

Figure it out? Great, now back

To our secret-

Their lives were better because they

Had no online presence, just the

Present around them, no ads or

Social pressure- and if you

Want to go on a retreat where we

Limit your screentime to

Only our content and

Teach you the benefits of our time-share therapy

System, it will change your life for

The better. Just like this

Person here, who sounds like AI and

Doesn’t quite look right, but they’re so happy and

That’s what you should focus on. So here’s the purchase link

To join our program and you can

Find it in the comments if you want to come back, and

We’re running a special if you buy in the next

90 seconds,

And you can divide your payment into

Eight affordable sub-payments, and you only have to give us

The value of three months’ rent when you

Fail to pay one, because you can't find where we hid

The follow-up payment links.

So what did you think? Is your life better?

Leave us a note in the comments and

Don’t forget to like

And subscribe

And sponsor us

For the price

Of a cup

Of coffee.