This Is Not a Test

Attention! Attention! This is not a test

Attention extension! This is not a drill

It's an official announcement, compulsory address

For all the steps you must now fulfill

.

Close all your doors and windows tonight

Draw all of your curtains and blinds

Cover all your vents and drains up tight

And prepare for the worst of times

.

Expect troubling news and dire dispatches

The Age of Tribulation arrives

Batten down all the open hatches

For only the fittest shall survive

.

Store all your water, supplies, and food

Schedule a plan to ration your stock

Keep your wits—don't come unglued

When come, after hours, aftershocks

.

Arm yourselves against those outside

Roaming strangers and neighbors on the block

They'll beg and plead and ram your door through

To plunder all the stuff you've got

.

Apply your skin lead-barrier balms

Shade your eyes from the grisly sight

Cover your ears for the coming storms

That'll last long into the night

.

Don't open a door to anyone

Don't use any of your devices

Intruders and microwave powerbursts

Are the least of all your crises

.

Take your iodine and vitamins now

Fill all your baths with water

Keep this channel tuned, for how

To shield your sons and daughters

.

Huddle together all loved progeny

Mend bridges with all you've offended

Make your peace with God Almighty

Say the things you've always intended

.

Stand by, please, an update for you

Listen carefully, for things have changed

Pay attention to this new news

Sent as the same, but rearranged

.

Correction! Correction! This has been a test.

Only a test of emergency broadcasts

Belay and ignore the previous and the rest

We're working hard to get it passed

.

For had that been an actual alert

Full disclosure now indicates

That you'd be already dead in the dirt

T'was a day-and-a-half too late