Thirty Eight

Repetitively falling into the trap.

After climbing out once thinking I was fine but before I knew it I was there again. There. In that horrible place where no one should ever be.

Convincing myself that I knew better, I'm smarter and better than that, I do not need to fall, but I do. Down the rabbit hole into that terrible place. I can only imagine that it's my fault for trying to be independent.

Trying to extend my disbelief enough to ensure myself that it is preventable. It's the disease which no one is immune to. No one has discovered the cure.

Life-threatening.