There's No One But You...

There's no one but you.

Sometimes we just need something or somebody,

A scapegoat to blame.

A way to focus all of this pain.

The anger, the fury, the tears, and the vengeance 

None of it will bring you back.

A sane mind knows this

Yet one riddled with grief cannot see that far ahead.

You're gone

And there has to be a reason.

A who or a what

Not just an endless list that begins with "WHY?"

Mysterious circumstances, an unknown illness…

Somewhere to place this blame.

A focal point for all of my pain.

You were so healthy and young.

Now you're just gone.

I kept waiting for the phone to ring.

For someone to tell me they'd identified the body wrong.

But no, it was you.

You.. who made a stupid mistake

Now you're not even here for me to give you hell to your face!

You were loved by so many

Though you had a tough shell.

You made me a better person

Even though some days you put me through hell.

I never would've imagined that I wouldn't see you again.

I imagined you decades from now, still going strong

Going full "BEASTMODE" and living life to the fullest.

For years I've carried that image in my head.

You were always a force to be reckoned with

You inspired so many, more than you ever realized

Now we're all just left reeling.

Everyone frantically grasping,

Desperate for an explanation.

There was no way a car accident took you out.

No, not when you'd just survived a horrific one two weeks before.

But that was the truth.

Slick mountain roads… Texting… No seatbelt.

Two mistakes that would be your final downfall.

Now there'll never be another call.

Was reading that message really worth it all?

How could you be so careless?

I remember telling you how our kids and theirs after would know your name someday

I never thought it would be as a cautionary tale.

Not that we'll miss you any less

Yet somehow it's harder to know

That in this there's no one else to blame.

There's no one but you.

Rest in Power, John.

. . .

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This poem was originally published on Medium: