The Worst Part

I was born with an open heart that gives

but I was forced to walk away.

There are more important things to do

than convincing somebody to stay.

🧸

So, every time I think about it...

The times I allow myself to care...

I tuck it away. Don't let it show.

Giving my all seems incredibly unfair.

🧸

I gave. You took. A cycle on repeat.

I have nothing left. There is no more.

You gave just enough effort to give me hope.

But left me emptier than I ever was before.

🧸

I had to break and figure it all out.

What I want versus what I need.

I wanted us to stay. To try...

but I know where that road would lead.

🧸

I know I was good at understanding...

that's the worst part of it all.

To have a genuine heart that wants to give

and have to convince it not to fall.

🧸

There were times it was too hard.

I forgot and fell hard to the ground.

I felt it hit me, I lost my breath...

I was screaming but you never heard a sound.

🧸

You couldn't be bothered with any effort.

Every time you spoke, you lied.

You said you would never give up...

but somehow, I'm the only one who tried.

🧸

So, I stopped trying to inspire.

I stopped pretending I wasn't broken.

I stopped pretending I could be what you need.

Stopped pretending I was ever more than your token.

🧸

Because I'm afraid of it. Genuinely.

Of who I would become if I did all you said.

I was born with a heart that only knows how to give...

but never shown how to speak the thoughts in my own head.

🧸

I think that's the worst part about it

realizing I was just a pawn in someone's game.

A life I never chose or asked for...

and I don't think I'll ever be the same.

🧸

Or maybe... the worst part is that you don't consider

how many times you actually made me cry.

The way you looked at me... the words you said.

Before I finally had enough and said goodbye.

🧸

So, maybe I do ruin everything.

Maybe we were better in my head.

Maybe I'm better off alone...

Being just the orphan instead.