the Wind outside

- December

The wind outside is loud today. It figures in December, a month of cold and desolance in the world I know; so many people decided we needed a day to brighten up such a dark time.

Within this cage built for me; I try to decorate... try to live a step ahead by being content...but as the years pass; the noise increases. I try to plan my next move, while hiding in this shadowy corner... This corner that was not meant for living; but Perhaps the ghosts would not think to look here. Although foolishly I realize that mans immortality complex that created ghost would be less haunting than remembering everything and anything.

-Spirits Song

Hunting for ways to forget. The silence is filled with so much, it helps to play some song that allows one to focus without such reminders. What are we here for anyways, while content appears to be doing nothing at all; I certainly do not believe it is to work or to be...

Definitely not repeating and repeating.... while working harder each time.

- Her Smile

The first time I saw my daughter smile...she knew nothing of her life, how to eat or how to walk. She just opened her eyes as an infant... and it happened. Maybe the comfort of seeing someone that cared. A moment of relief when she woke up that he was still there. It cannot be taught because it is a feeling. The deception really begins with our education and improvements. The endless search for answers of what it is to be happy in a world where everything we create is designed to do something else...pulling us farther from who we are.

Is it work, something I enjoy or is it a lost game observed, perhaps forgotten? I play it to be content with knowing that I already had acceptance and was happy with such a loud silence. I do not wish to be a teacher or a student of grief and jealousy... Those things we seem to learn once envy has been full filled...