the way things are, now

I still dream of sun-kissed bricks under bare feet

Of hot soup on the stove

Of origami books on your kitchen table

Of your splayed arms, open like a bird’s wings

Of the dimness of your house

Dark and cool and glowing—home

Flickering like a soft blue flame

Just the way I knew it

I dream of your smile

I paint it with my fingertips in my mind

And with oil pastels, too

Hands spread across the paper

Rubbing in the colors of you

Cementing the same pictures and moments

Into the fickleness of my memory

I remember you by feelings and places

By the snort of your laughter

And the warmth of your embrace

And the throbbing ache of your loss

I dream of holding you in my arms

Of hearing a word from you, a gasp of air

A rejuvenating whisper in the wind

To remind me you were here

And you were always worth knowing