The Truth

When I texted you,

I never thought

anyone else's eyes would

lay across my confession.

When I texted you,

it wasn't a proposition.

It was a declaration

of something I always kept inside.

When I texted you,

you were sitting across

the sleek white table

made for eight

with the two chairs.

And you didn't look at me

but you asked me to make TikToks

where we danced to a sound byte

about being best friends.

And then I didn't see you

until that time at the pool.

I wore a red bikini

underneath the moonless sky.

The safety of the dark

made me feel like myself.

Your husband,

Googly-eyed with beer in his veins

was putting on his one man show.

His mouth never closing,

always a drink or words

rubbing on

his calloused tongue.

And we spent the night,

our toes in the pool,

while he competed

with the bubbling of the hot tub.

Even though we just spoke

he thought we were making love.

You saw me in the dark.

And his words hit me,

catapulted

off of his springboard tongue.

Nonsense,

talking just to talk.

His words splattered across me,

splaying me

in the balmy air

next to the water's blue glow

in the middle of the desert.

Your husband,

fish eyed,

looking me up and down

and down on me,

never bothering

to look inside.

Talking at me only to

get me to freeze so

he could run his eyes all over me.

Lasers in the darkness.

My skin started to crawl away.

The rocks underneath the rubber

rumbling as I drove away.

Still feeling willing to deal

with the man

who lived behind the veil.

Because you were

really my friend.

And when you texted me,

blazing light across my face

at 3AM.

To tell me that he said;

"We must be having sex".

He even told the kids.

I knew immediately that

he'd weaponized my quiet pride.

When I told you I was bisexual

it was not meant for his eyes.

The distance that grew between us,

a lush oasis filled with shame -

For showing you my true self

was a threat to his family,

a threat to the "Truth".

The bumbling patriarch,

bisexual me,

was going to be the downfall

of his marriage.

Because he chose

to feel threatened

by my truth.

All bisexuals must want to

fuck their friends

He was just following

what Jehovah told him

was right.

When his eyes went glassy

after another night

of drinking alcohol,

he told you it was fine

because even Jehovah

like to drink wine.

He's following the witnesses

to eternal life.

Day after day,

dehydrating himself

in the inconspicuous heat.

Keeping his family safe

from someone like me.

When I texted you,

I knew things would never be the same.

And where our friendship was,

the truth now fills the space.