The Thunderstorm is Real

I remember those times
I couldn’t find the door 
Everyone says there’s a way out 
But that door was invisible 

The times I felt stuck 
Those times I felt like everything was getting worse
Crying every night until I fell asleep

Morning light 
Glowed through my bedroom window
But thirty below made the warmth  unseen
Wanting a new day to begin
Dark thunder clouds escape outside and into my mind

My body would panic when the thunder struck in my head 
Lightning would strike brighter 
The thunder roars louder
The outside world felt unreal 
Walking on black clouds 

A wall between me and the outside world began to build 
I was always the quiet  one 
The one I  felt no one truly understood 
Just laughs 
Ignored

I wanted someone to be there in the dark
But I realized I was the one who was in the dark 
Who survived and still surviving 
When everyone ghosted

It took me a while 
But I see the sun 
The thunderstorm is real 
And I am terrified it will be back
But I have gotten this far 
And I have the strength to defeat the thunderstorm once again 

Now  the door is visible 
And I have found the key 
The rain finally pours 
And I  can finally  breathe 

I have written this poem because I get it; I know what it feels like to feel stuck, like the world is frozen, wanting to feel neutral and getting frustrated because every day is the same, staying quiet about feelings because of the fear of judgmental people, so keeping it inside feels safer. The door may be invisible now, but it will appear. I don’t know when, but it will.