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The Tarpit of the Train Station

by Johnathan Riley

By Johnathan RileyPublished about a year ago 1 min read
Top Story - February 2023
83
illustration by author

The Tarpit of the Train Station

On steel parallels and shallow

earth the rats know life

as it is: patterned, mildly

irregular, and rotting.

They stand around the low

brush of autumn like cavities

in a dog’s mouth.

Their sound is hard

to place but the lights

from the parking lot

are just bright enough

to guide them.

So, when the rat’s eyes strain

towards the edge of the light

the remains of something important

comes towards them: a 92’ Town Car,

grey, gasping for air, and missing

the train. The world unfurls in low light,

and I, the Rat King, await my carriage.

vintagesurreal poetryart
83

About the Creator

Johnathan Riley

Writing is hard

Reader insights

Outstanding

Excellent work. Looking forward to reading more!

Top insights

  1. Compelling and original writing

    Creative use of language & vocab

  2. Easy to read and follow

    Well-structured & engaging content

  3. Excellent storytelling

    Original narrative & well developed characters

  1. Eye opening

    Niche topic & fresh perspectives

  2. Heartfelt and relatable

    The story invoked strong personal emotions

  3. On-point and relevant

    Writing reflected the title & theme

  4. Masterful proofreading

    Zero grammar & spelling mistakes

  5. Expert insights and opinions

    Arguments were carefully researched and presented

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Comments (31)

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  • Gina Calleaabout a year ago

    Congratulations!!!

  • Una Savageabout a year ago

    Congrats great piece.

  • Jeremy Hallabout a year ago

    Congratulations on winning! I enjoyed the imagery in your words and even the "rat doodle".

  • Denelsia Walkerabout a year ago

    Congratulations 🎉 Excellent write!

  • Gurulathan Sabout a year ago

    Congratulations...

  • Robbie Cheadleabout a year ago

    Beautifully descriptive. An intriguing poem.

  • Nichelle Calhounabout a year ago

    Great writing- what inspired you? And of course a big Congratulations 🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉

  • Donna Reneeabout a year ago

    This was one of the most unique poems I’ve read in a long time! I found myself reading sections of it over and over trying to picture the scene. Nicely done and congratulations!

  • Winner grace!!about a year ago

    super

  • Francis Katikuabout a year ago

    Well done

  • suman mohanabout a year ago

    Very very interesting!

  • Nice Poem 💙😉👍 Congratulations on your win 🎉 💯✨

  • C. H. Richardabout a year ago

    Congratulations on your win! Vivid poem!

  • Grz Colmabout a year ago

    Wow, I saw this whole thing in my head without a beat! Congratulations on your award. I’m very intrigued by your structure.

  • Call Me Lesabout a year ago

    Congratulations! <3

  • Natalie Wilkinsonabout a year ago

    Congratulations!

  • Deasun T. Smythabout a year ago

    Congratulations! This imagery was what caught my attention, and I couldn't stop reading. Good job Johnathan, look forward to reading more!

  • Lamar Wigginsabout a year ago

    Congrats Johnathan! 👏👏👏 Hearted and subscribed.

  • Caroline Janeabout a year ago

    Nicely done. I am fascinated by the word "Tarpit" for some reason now. Congratulations!

  • Novel Allenabout a year ago

    I am always jealous of those with artistic talents. I love the rat. It's just squiggles, but it is obviously a rat. I really think I could draw like that. Am sure gonna try. Your poem is written in abstract and quite imaginative. I can see why you won. Sometimes it's not the intent of the poem, but the heart of the poem that catches the eyes and ears. There is uncommom in the way it is presented. Congrats.

  • Dana Stewartabout a year ago

    Innovation on the prompt. I like the mix of grittiness and prose. Congratulations on the win!

  • Testabout a year ago

    This is fantastic! Such gritty imagery, such beautiful prose, and a little bit of whimsy thrown in for good measure. Loved it. Congrats on a well-earned first place, Johnathan!

  • Kendall Defoe about a year ago

    I liked this one. Wish I had thought of it... Rats! ;)

  • Loryne Andaweyabout a year ago

    Oh the imagery in this! I love the fact that you also used your own illustration for this piece. Highly original and congratulations on First Place in the challenge! ❤️'d and subscribed!

  • Ward Norcuttabout a year ago

    the meatphors and imagery in this piece are wonderful ! Congratulations!

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