The Sounds Of Sickness

Sounds of crying, muttering, moaning, and 🅰🅶🅾🅽🆈.

I had never before wished so hard for dₑₐₜₕ to be swift.

Lσυԃ are the cries of agony from the sick and withered.

Evenings 𝓭𝓻𝓪𝓰 on and on when the sound never stops.

ℕ𝕆 comfort, ℕ𝕆 bliss, ℕ𝕆 inertia.

Can you imagine the sudden wₑᵢgₕₜ ₒf ₜₕₑ ₛᵢₗₑₙcₑ when it all stops?

░E░M░P░T░Y░ house, ░E░M░P░T░Y░ room, ░E░M░P░T░Y░ heart.

The Inspiration

****After caretaking for my Grandfather who had lung cancer, I lost my love of music and sound. In the last few weeks of his life, Grandfather did NOT sleep. A tumor had developed in his brain. So he hallucinated often. I would peek out and he'd be talking to someone, using a water bottle as a screwdriver, working on an invisible car.

As the time drew closer to his passing, it got worse. In the last days of his life, he hallucinated he was being tortured, reliving a memory of the time ....well that's a whole article to talk about.... it was a memory and it was bad. He screamed and cried for 3 days before I had to call for medical professionals to come and hospitalize him.

He screamed, moaned, wailed, and begged me to let him go to stop hurting him (I was NOT hurting him, just so that's clear) and it didn't stop. I prayed for silence. I prayed to God to make the pain and the sound of pain stop, to release my grandfather from his worst memories. And when I got it... it was a lot.

So when he passed away, and the silence filled the house... I withdrew into it. I didn't listen to music or watch TV for months. Sound gave me anxiety because all I could hear was my grandfather screaming and crying. Silence and I ...we have a strange relationship.

[Weird spiritual juju: Grandfather spoke to his father, his mother, all of his deceased siblings, and my grandmother. He did NOT hallucinate having a conversation with any of our LIVING relatives. EH! Creepy! What if it WASN'T hallucinations and he was talking to their ghosts?!]

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